First Mic Drop in History
(In this blog may be I use inappropriate language but I am writing about history's badass personality so I have to.)
Assuming the figurative ‘mic drop’ here, then gather around, ladies and gents, and let me tell you about the most savage philosopher of all time. Just how cool was this guy? Well, let’s just say he dropped the mic on Alexander the Great. That’s right: this Greek philosopher allegedly roasted the most powerful man of the 4th century BC. Who was he?
His name is Diogenes the Cynic, and he gave not even a single fuck.
When scolded for masturbating in public, Diogenes said "I wish it were as easy to banish hunger by rubbing my belly."
Diogenes was a quite a controversial figure in Athens because he staunchly rejected the social norms of the city while simultaneously declaring that ‘living simply’ was integral for achieving wisdom and happiness. This idea, living free from possessions, is central to an ancient philosophy called Cynicism, which Diogenes more or less founded. In a word, he thought that civilization was just plain stupid and regressive.
Consequently, he did some pretty obscene stuff and defied basically all of Athenian tradition with a smile.
That’s because Diogenes didn’t just tout his philosophical ideas, he actively sought to put them into practice. I mean, what better way to teach by example than by peeing on people who insult you? Because yeah, that’s exactly what ol’ Diogenes did. He also liked to poop in theaters and jerk off in public because, y’know, CYNICISM.
One of my favorite stories of him, however, is when a man invited Diogenes into his particularly magnificent house and asked him to please not spit anywhere. Diogenes heard this, cleared his throat, then naturally spat directly onto the man’s face. The man, now understandably furious, asked why he did so?
"Because," Diogenes, "I saw nothing so dirty and filthy in all your house.”
Anyway, now that you have a good idea of the kind of guy Diogenes actually is, I can tell you about his encounter with Alexander the Great. Now, no one knows for sure how true this story is, but it’s just too fun to ignore; most of what we know comes from Roman author Plutarch, who wrote a couple hundred years after the presumed incident.
Diogenes was captured by pirates while he was journeying out of Athens, and was eventually sold into slavery to a man living in Corinth (a city located a little west of Athens). And so it was in Corinth where Diogenes and Alexander supposedly met.
The Greek philosopher was relaxing in the morning sunlight when Alexander, thrilled to talk with the famous Cynic, approached Diogenes, saying:
“I am the most powerful man in the world, if you need anything, I can grant it. Is there any favor I can do for you?”
To which Diogenes replied:
"Yes, stand out of my sunlight."
*Diogenes drops the mic*
Alexander, thoroughly amused at this response, then declared, "If I were not Alexander, then I should wish to be Diogenes."
"If I were not Diogenes, I would still wish to be Diogenes," Diogenes replied.
Assuming the story is true, I think it can be said to be the earliest mic drop in history since it happened over 2000 years ago.
And Lord, I dearly hope it’s true.
The three articles I used for researching this article are:
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